Your Favourite Jokes

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• How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

  Show me the answer
  None. It's left to the reader as an exercise.

  1
  category: Lightbulb ...  submitted by: Peter

• How many pot growers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

  Show me the answer
  None, they use fluorescent bulbs instead.

  1
  category: Lightbulb ...  submitted by: Shaun

• How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?

  Show me the answer
  Only one, but it takes nine visits.

  1
  category: Lightbulb ...  submitted by: Tom

• How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

  Show me the answer
  Three. They'd also like to remove the socket as you aren't using it now.

  1
  category: Lightbulb ...  submitted by: Frank

• A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

  Show me the answer
  The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

  1
  category: Blonde Jok...  submitted by: James

• What do you call a woman who goes into a bar and starts to juggle with the drinks?

  Show me the answer
  Beatrix (beer tricks).

  1
  category: Bar Jokes  submitted by: Simon

• A pie walks into a bar and asks the bar owner if he can have a pint of beer and a packet of crisps.

  Show me the answer
  The bar owner replies and says, sorry we dont serve food.

  1
  category: Bar Jokes  submitted by: Tom

• Why did the dog jump into the fire?

  Show me the answer
  Because he wanted to be a hot dog!

  1
  category: Animal Jok...  submitted by: Lisa