BigJokeBook Latest and Greatest Jokes http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk Latest and Greatest Jokes from BigJokeBook.co.uk en-gb Sat, 13 Mar 2010 14:29:50 GMT Sat, 13 Mar 2010 14:29:50 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk 18a Productions jokes@bigjokebook.co.uk (MyPetTrade) support@18aproductions.co.uk (18a Productions) 10 What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:46:37 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ A small boy is lost so he goes up to a policeman and says "I can't find my dad." http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:20:03 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" said the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!" http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:14:26 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ A young man named Ron wanted to buy his new girlfriend a Christmas present. As they hadn't been seeing each other for very long he decided after careful consideration that a pair of gloves would strike the right note - not too romantic and not too personal. He went to Harrods with his girlfriends' sister and bought a pair of dainty fur-lined white gloves, the sister bought a pair of knickers for herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed the two items up so, the sister got the gloves and Ron got the knickers. Without checking, Ron sealed the package and sent it to his new girlfriend with the following letter. Dear Sasha, I chose these because I've noticed that you do not wear any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones which are easier to remove. These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that the pair rubs her ring which helps keep it clean and shiny. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them, I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will naturally be a little damp from wearing, Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love, Ron http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:08:19 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ A man was driving along the road and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so bad that he began to cry. A blonde woman driving down the road saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blonde told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car boot and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the dead rabbit and sprayed the entire contents of the can on to the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two people and hopped down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two people again, hopped down the road another 10 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 10 feet, turned and waved and repeated this again and again until it was out of sight. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray on to that rabbit?" The woman turned the can round so that the man could read the label. http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:01:31 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ What does a Priest say to a red nose? http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:10:42 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Batman walked into the office the other day and hit me over the head with a vase, as he did it he said "TA POW!" I said, "don't you mean KA POW!?" http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:01:17 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop." Customer: "OK." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:22:29 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ What did one potato say to the other potato http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:35:19 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Political cunning should http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/ Wed, 11 Feb 2009 09:42:32 GMT http://www.bigjokebook.co.uk/